


One Step Closer

by Songspinner



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24611620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songspinner/pseuds/Songspinner
Summary: Claude decides to reveal one of his closest held secrets to Hilda.
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30
Collections: Hilclaude Week 2020





	One Step Closer

**Author's Note:**

> Hilclaude Week 2020 Day 1: Secrets/Confessions
> 
> This was written in collaboration with a friend who writes an amazing Hilda to my Claude (but she isn't on twitter or ao3 so I can't tag her). I hope you enjoy!

"Hilda...there's something I want to tell you. Walk with me?"

What a simple thing to say. As though he weren't about to risk everything he's worked so hard for, maybe even risk his life, just to unburden himself to someone. Well, not just anyone. _Hilda_ , and that's the rub, isn't it? He's gotten himself in deep, here, in a way he never intended to. He thought Hilda would be an ally, an asset, _maybe_ a friend--although even that was uncomfortably close to vulnerability, back when he first got here. He never imagined he'd--

Well. Best to save that thought for another time. He's already about to reveal _one_ of his deepest, darkest secrets; the others can wait.

Hilda stretches and gets up from where she was sitting, definitely _not_ doodling on the paper she was supposed to be taking notes on as they studied. "Mm? Yeah, of course. Where to?"

"I was thinking we could just...walk." He stands too, glancing over the table cluttered with books and papers, then shrugs. He can come back later; leaving a slight mess in the library is the absolute least of his worries. He does, however, scoop up the basket of freshly picked flowers Seteth gave the Golden Deer this morning as part of some Church ceremony they're expected to participate in tomorrow. Then he offers her his arm, in gentlemanly fashion. Maybe if he just pretends like everything is normal and casual, it'll be fine.

"Fine by me." There's no hesitation on Hilda's part; she takes his arm as soon as he offers it, slotting together like a puzzle piece that's found its rightful place. "I may be a little shaky on my feet, just to warn you. Professor Byleth absolutely _wrecked_ me in training today."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm here to catch you if you faint." Claude grins, letting his mouth run on autopilot for a minute as they leave the library and head outside, wandering the grounds aimlessly.

"My hero." A cheeky smile, a hand dramatically draped across her forehead like she has a case of the vapors.

They banter a bit more as they walk, but once the exchange ends, Claude falls silent. He tells himself he's waiting for them to reach a more secluded area. Hilda intentionally leans more against him after that, maybe even stumbles a time or two. Her worries fade in the face of their comfortable rapport. Words flow freely, smiles come easy. Even after Claude's gone quiet, it's... nice, being able to simply exist alongside him for a while. Eventually, though, he runs out of excuses.

"I've been thinking a lot lately. Which is nothing new. But specifically, I've been thinking about that time I told you that if you wanted to know my secrets, I'd need yours too. And, well, you told me a big secret about yourself the other day. About your fear of disappointing people."

Hilda tilts her head quizzically at him. "That counts? ... I mean. Of course it counts, and I did that on purpose." She flips one of her ponytails behind her to project confidence.

Normally Claude would smirk or tease, but instead he just pulls one of the white flowers out of the basket and hands it to her. "Right, so...I thought it should probably be my turn."

 _He had the gall to go and give me a flower, of all things?_ How can she maintain her carefree attitude in the face of that? She softens instantly. It's involuntary, as automatic a response as breathing. Not that she's complaining. "... Alright. Let's hear it, then."

Easier said than done. Claude's starting to feel like there are flies buzzing around inside his head. _What if--?_ But he banishes the thought forcibly before it's fully formed. He's got to forget 'what ifs' and just do it. He can't look at her, though, so he fixes his gaze on the flowers in the basket instead. "You know how nobody knew there was an heir to House Riegan until last year? That's because...I wasn't born in Fódlan. I grew up...somewhere else." _Spit it out_ , he tells himself. But he can't make his tongue obey. "...can you guess where?"

 _Oh._ Snippets of past conversations replay in Hilda's mind. Questions she's long since buried, some willingly and some that seemingly fell by the wayside of their own accord. But even those were dropped as a result of a choice someone deliberately made, weren't they? The choice just hadn't been hers to make. Hilda moves her hand that's been dutifully wrapped around Claude's arm up until now, dragging it downwards until it finds its match in his. She threads their fingers together and squeezes reassuringly. Even if he can't meet her gaze, her eyes are on him and him alone. Her voice is quiet, thoughtful. "I think I can. I'd rather hear it from you, though."

Claude clutches her hand like a lifeline, trying not to let her gesture and her tone engender too much hope...just in case. But he does find the strength to drag his eyes up from the flowers to meet hers. If he's going to stop running away, the first thing he needs to do is relearn how to face these things directly. And he won't know for sure what she really feels unless he can see her face, the look in her eye. "Ha, figures I wouldn't get away with that." He takes a breath and lets it out. "Okay, then. I'm...from Almyra."

For as deeply as he might dare himself to look, there is no trace of anger or resentment to be found here. Not written on her face, not even lurking under the surface. Surprise? Yes. Embarrassment? That, too. Hilda can't help but feel some level of shame for how blind she was in the past. _'You talk about it as though you've spoken to the Almyrans yourself.'_ _**Really** , Hilda?_ But more prevalent than anything else is the understanding shining above it all as everything clicks into place, clear as day. "... I see. And... You were worried about telling me because of who I am. Because of who my family is. Am I right?"

"Got it in one. Not that I'm eager to advertise it to anyone else, either, but..." He lets that trail off. He's still clutching her hand tightly and watching her carefully. Waiting to see what else is to come.

"That's fair." Hilda rubs soothing circles against the back of Claude's hand. As much as she can with how tight his grip is, anyway. _Inhale. Exhale. Find the right words. Don't screw this up. Not now. This is too important._ She's not in the habit of believing in herself, but she'll be damned if she doesn't do right by him in this moment. "I've... heard a lot of bad things. About Almyrans. And I know I've repeated those things before without thinking twice about it. I can see why you wouldn't exactly be enthusiastic about telling me this. And I am... so, _so_ sorry I ever made you feel like you had to hide this from me. Hearing something second-hand is one thing, but it's no substitute for lived experience. In all the time I've known you, you've never once come across as anything remotely resembling the awful things I've heard. So... Clearly, what I heard has to be wrong. At least partially. Maybe even completely? I don't know. You tell me. You're the one I should be listening to. But... That's what I believe." She reaches up to cradle his cheek with her free hand, her eyes nothing but fond. "You're living proof of that."

Claude lets out a shaky breath and lets go of her hand to wrap his arms around her instead, pulling her close and closing his eyes and just...holding on for a long moment. She's going to have to unlearn a lot of things and learn a lot more, and it's probably going to be rough on both of them, and she'll make mistakes, he's sure. But at least she didn't look at him like he'd betrayed her somehow, or with hatred or disgust, like he'd feared. They can talk about it now, and that's a start. The first blow to the first wall of many that he hopes to tear down--that he _will_ tear down. "...thank you, Hilda."

Hilda reciprocates the gesture easily, clutching at the back of his jacket and burying her face against his chest. "I'm the one who should be thanking you," she mutters, muffled by shirt, before realizing that's not an ideal way to communicate. She turns her head so her ear is pressed against him instead, close enough to hear his heartbeat. "For telling me. I know this wasn't easy for you."

He's quiet at first. She can hear, and feel, his pulse gradually slow from frantic to normal. "...you're right," he says, "I was terrified. But I wanted you to know." Not, _I wanted you to know **everything**_...because there are still large pieces of the puzzle he's keeping to himself. And he will continue to do so for as long as he can. But _this_ , this was really the big one--at least, for their relationship. "Because...I want to share my dreams with you. I don't want to feel like getting close to you is some kind of weakness. It's the opposite--you give me strength."

"You mean that?"

Claude pulls back from the hug, a little reluctantly, to cup her face in both hands instead. There's no trace of teasing or joking in his eyes. "Yes, I mean that. Really."

Hilda was only joking about being unsteady on her feet before, but now she really does feel faint. How does he do that? How does he keep making her heart feel fit to burst right out of her chest? Is this what other people feel like, when she showers them with praise and wraps them around her little finger? No. No, this is more than that, it has to be. This is--

...Fuck, she's in trouble. "You're gonna make me cry." She sniffs, a watery laugh escaping her throat. _Keep it together._ "I'm glad. I'm really, really glad. I want that, too. For as long as you'll have me."

For all her pretending at delicacy, Claude thinks, she's like a sturdy rock in a turbulent ocean, shelter from the storm. Being with her is so easy; he's always felt like they understand each other, a rare thing. If there was ever anyone he could truly be himself around, he thinks it might be Hilda. And now that he's told her the most important thing and she's accepted it, that's more true now than ever. _'For as long as you'll have me'_...he can't help feeling uneasy about that, though. Not because he can't imagine being with her far into the future. He can, easily--maybe a little too easily. This whole thing, coming to Fódlan, claiming his ducal inheritance...it wasn't supposed to be permanent. He'd always planned to go back when he'd gotten what he wanted out of this. He wasn't supposed to--

...Fuck, he's in trouble. "For as long as I'll have you, huh? Well, if destiny wills it...who knows what the future will bring? ;)" He leans down to kiss her gently, but--

"Hey, now." Hilda lets go of him only to press a finger to his lips instead, temporarily stopping his advance with a twinkle in her eye. As much as her judgment may be impaired by these feelings she is afraid to name, she is not so affected as to let that slide without comment. "Didn't you once tell me it would be a sight to behold when I decided to try my hardest? I think it's high time I take control of my _own_ destiny, thank you very much. ...Which means I will continue to do exactly what I've been doing, more or less, but without feeling guilty when I skip chores anymore." Another peal of laughter, less watery this time as she reins in the waterworks in favor of her grin widening with intent. "And, if it's okay with you..." She grabs at the front of his shirt, now, balling her fists in the fabric. "I'll be doing more of this, too." Then she yanks him in to deliver on that kiss.

Claude gladly lets her pull him down to seal the deal, chuckling as he lets himself melt into her soft lips and flowery scent, slipping his arms around her waist. Gods, he could do this all day. For a moment he thinks, _I just might._ Without breaking the kiss, he slides one hand up to brace her in his arms and then pivots to dip her dramatically.

Here she is, thinking she's gained the upper hand by being all smooth and assertive, and then he goes and dips her. _Dips_ her! The _nerve_. The _audacity_. How dare he be so dashing and clever and kind? It should be illegal, honestly. ... Good thing she doesn't mind being his partner in crime. How could she, when the rewards are so very gratifying? Whoever said crime never pays has clearly never been in llllll--

Like. Yep. That's the word. It's happening again, this...this tunnel vision effect. They're preparing for a dangerous mission, investigating troubling rumors, training hard every day, and yet she can't be bothered to think of any of that. Not when all of her senses are being so thoroughly occupied in the best possible way by Claude and this clearly unlawful kiss. The tunnel vision has never been quite this pronounced before, admittedly, but there's probably a reasonable explanation for that. Like her feelings growing in intensity, or her mind being overwhelmed from what she's learned today, or--

Or forgetting that human beings need oxygen to live. _Oops._ Hilda reluctantly breaks the kiss to catch her breath. "...I'm taking that as a yes?" she says once she's refilled her lungs. The temptation to dive right back in is one she only barely manages to resist.

For all that Claude normally can't get his mind to shut up, right now he's having a hard time thinking at all. It's as though the kiss suspends them in space and time, and the only thought he can have is: _I don't want this to end._ So when it does, he sighs, but admits that catching his breath is probably a good thing. He supposes. He brings her up from the dip but leaves his arms around her for now. "That's a yes, but let me know if it wasn't convincing enough and I'll do it again. ;)"

"Ugh, don't tempt me..." Hilda groans, letting her head droop against his chest. "I need to meet with Catherine soon."

"What for? Did she rope you into extra training?"

"Yup."  She pops the _p_ sound for effect. "I tried to get out of firewood duty and failed spectacularly.  _ And _ she knows my brother from their academy days. I'm doomed."  


Claude chuckles. "Catherine's savvier than she looks."  


"Just my luck." Hilda sighs, then stands on her tiptoes to give Claude a kiss on the cheek before stepping back. "Maybe she'll get called away for some urgent knightly duty and I can have a nice, relaxing afternoon. A girl can dream, right?"

"I'd offer to conjure one up for her, but I don't need any more Thunderbrand in my life right now."

Hilda smirks. "See you later, Claude."

Once she's gone, Claude smiles, a private smile just for himself. "See you later, Hilda."


End file.
